Well, Carl and I are going to be going through some changes in the coming months and we are totally excited to see were God leads us.
No, I am not pregnant... not that I know of. Evidently that is what people are expecting me to tell them when I bring up these "changes". But nope.
I actually have gotten a new job, and will be starting my new position on Oct. 5th. My last day at Parkside is Oct. 4th.
I turned in my two weeks notice to Parkside last week (well technically 2 weeks and 2 days). It was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. I've worked at Parkside 3 years, and it's been a good three years. They have completely supported me through some very interesting, difficult, fun, happy, scary, and so on times in my life. I mean seriously in the three years that I have worked there I have lost vision in one of my eyes, had my parents move out of state, met Carl, dated Carl, My mom was diagnosed with cancer, got engaged to Carl, went through everything with my moms cancer diagnosis (and surgeries and treatments), got vision in my eye mostly back, celebrated my mom being done with her Cancer treatments, Got married to Carl, Carls Mom's Car accident and recovery, Celebrated my mom being year out of diagnosis, celebrated mom being a year out of treatment, and so on! SO many life events. So many life events that I didn't even include in that list. And through it all Parkside has been completely supportive of me, helping me out when and if they could.
But the time has come for me to make some changes. There are many things that went into our decision to go ahead with this change, but the biggest is we just feel God telling us this is the right move for us. The opportunity has come to me through amazing connections through God, and I just know it's right.
It's going to be exciting to start something new, to learn all of these new things, to use my college degree more! I'm excited to see what these next months bring. I'm praying for God's guidance, and patience to learn my job well, and quickly. I'm praying for opportunities as I go to work in the secular world vs. in a church. I am praying it is good for our family, and excited for what is ahead of us.
Prayers for us would be appreciated. Prayers for Parkside to find the right person for the Youth Ministry Assistant would be appreciated.
I am sad to leave my friends and coworkers, but I really am excited for what God is doing in our lives right now!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
My Dog has Leprosy
My husband has pointed out in recent days (ok, ok, weeks and months) that I have not updated our family blog. I realize what a slacker this makes me but I just haven't had the creative juices to write. I can't necessarily say I don't have anything to write about, it is that I am struggling with how much to write. How much information do you really want on us? How much do we really want the whole (cyber)World to know about us. There are somethings for one reason or another that I cannot just write about. There are times I don't write because although I am generally fine with you all having information about me I don't want put information about others out there, yet they are vital to what I want to write about.
So I sit and I ponder how to best approach this blog going forward. My initial idea, thought, want, was to make an completely open and honest blog about the struggles, funny things, joy, happiness, hard times, quirks, and so much more that you face in the first year of marriage. Really that is still my goal in writing this. I just need to figure out how to do so in a way that accurately portrays us, tells our story, and leaves the rest out.
So as Carl and I were sitting there discussing this, with my Dad actually (he happened to be in town!!) he suggested that I write about our Dog.. who has Leprosy.
Harley... Harley is our 3 year old dog. Really he has quite the life, and has travel, and lived in more places than Carl. haha. I got Harley when I graduated College. It was a splurge. It was an impulse. He was the cutest little thing that you ever did see. Seriously. When my mom and I picked him up he was literally the size of my hand. To watch something so small pounce around the house was the cutest thing ever. (Also when we got him, his ears didn't stand up like they do now, otherwise I might have named him Radar)
When we got him they told us he was a miniature fox terrier. It is very apparent now that he is NOT. He is some sort of mutt, mix, perfectness. He definitely has papillon in him (his ears, and longer hair show that), but I am certain there is something else mixed with him. Any way, not super important. All you must know is that he is 7 pounds of cuteness.
When my parents moved from Cleveland to Houston... they took Harley with them. By my request (begging). At that time I was struggling with some medical issues and just didn't feel I could take care of him. So off to Houston he went. I am pretty sure he loved it there. He really enjoys my little brothers, and Jacob still to this day thinks Harley is his dog who I stole. (terrible sister alert). While he lived in Cleveland he really had no issues, other than when he broke his leg, but about 2 months after they moved there he started to get sick. Insert Leprosy. That is what it looked like, he got these wounds, lesions, red spots, scabs... disgusting-ness all over his little body. My mom was concerned for him, he was consistently licking and or chewing at the spots, making them worse, he was losing his hair. Really to put it simply, he was pitiful. So he went to the vet, and went to the vet ,and went to the vet some more. They couldn't figure out his issues, they did allergy tests, blood tests, everything.. and he stayed sick.
Finally they put him on some steroids, and that seemed to help. The lesions went away for the most part, his skin wasn't so irritated, he could walk on his paws (which had gotten some of the wounds on them). It was a good fix, it seemed to help. But at the same time, a dog on steroids is a bit crazy. He bulked up. His tiny little frame suddenly had all of this extra weight on it. He really looked like... a fat dog with a little head. After a while Harley still wasn't doing awesome, the steroids helped, but he if he went off of them he'd get sick again. So we made the decision that he would go live with my sister in Missouri.
My sister has a dog named Lucifer ... I mean Lucy. Harley and Lucy got a long well, and hopefully his sickness would clear up in a new climate. So he went to Missouri in the fall, and got better! His lesions went away, he went off medication. Done deal. Awesome.
Carl and I got married in November. We were looking to get a dog, when my sister suggested I take Harley back now that I was more able to take care of him. So Harley traveled with my sister to Texas, and we traveled to Texas for a visit, and Harley flew home with us in January. January-April was good as gold. But then April hits (with A LOT of rain)... and Harley starts to get these nasty things on his skin again. Our playful dog started sleeping all day, starting doing nothing. If you asked him to bring you his toy, he would get it... drop it at your feet, and then go fall asleep on the couch (I think he thought we still wanted to play with his toys even when he was asleep). It was pitiful. So to the vet we went... told her the back story, etc, etc, etc. They thought it was an allergy brought on by the rain ... lots of rain = things blooming = harley gets sick. So they... put him on a dog allergy pill and steroids. And he got better... until it would rain.. and he'd get worse. Then he just started getting worse regardless of the rain. Then more steroids, and he got better. Then he got worse.
SO basically what I am saying is... our dog is high maintenance. No, really we just feel sad for him. Our sad little leprosy doggie. His sickness has gone on much longer here than it did in Texas, so we are trying to decide what is best for him. We are hoping that the fall hits, and he gets better! But if not we will be making some decisions as to what to do. We really don't want him to be miserable all the time. The best place he did was Missouri, for whatever reason. But even so he did better in Texas than in Cleveland at his point (although when he first lived here he never had an issue).
So if you come to our house, and look at our dog, and think we are neglecting him. Please don't. Please know he is still very spoiled... he is just kind of sick looking. Carl says I notice it more than others because I am around him more, possibly true. Hopefully the cooler weather, the leaves changing color, the smell of apple cider will bring more than my favorite season... maybe our little leprosy dog will get a break too!
(maybe we should start a foundation for little leprosy doggies?)
**Please don't be offended by my definition of my dogs disease. I realize it is not actually leprosy.**
So I sit and I ponder how to best approach this blog going forward. My initial idea, thought, want, was to make an completely open and honest blog about the struggles, funny things, joy, happiness, hard times, quirks, and so much more that you face in the first year of marriage. Really that is still my goal in writing this. I just need to figure out how to do so in a way that accurately portrays us, tells our story, and leaves the rest out.
So as Carl and I were sitting there discussing this, with my Dad actually (he happened to be in town!!) he suggested that I write about our Dog.. who has Leprosy.
Harley... Harley is our 3 year old dog. Really he has quite the life, and has travel, and lived in more places than Carl. haha. I got Harley when I graduated College. It was a splurge. It was an impulse. He was the cutest little thing that you ever did see. Seriously. When my mom and I picked him up he was literally the size of my hand. To watch something so small pounce around the house was the cutest thing ever. (Also when we got him, his ears didn't stand up like they do now, otherwise I might have named him Radar)
When we got him they told us he was a miniature fox terrier. It is very apparent now that he is NOT. He is some sort of mutt, mix, perfectness. He definitely has papillon in him (his ears, and longer hair show that), but I am certain there is something else mixed with him. Any way, not super important. All you must know is that he is 7 pounds of cuteness.
When my parents moved from Cleveland to Houston... they took Harley with them. By my request (begging). At that time I was struggling with some medical issues and just didn't feel I could take care of him. So off to Houston he went. I am pretty sure he loved it there. He really enjoys my little brothers, and Jacob still to this day thinks Harley is his dog who I stole. (terrible sister alert). While he lived in Cleveland he really had no issues, other than when he broke his leg, but about 2 months after they moved there he started to get sick. Insert Leprosy. That is what it looked like, he got these wounds, lesions, red spots, scabs... disgusting-ness all over his little body. My mom was concerned for him, he was consistently licking and or chewing at the spots, making them worse, he was losing his hair. Really to put it simply, he was pitiful. So he went to the vet, and went to the vet ,and went to the vet some more. They couldn't figure out his issues, they did allergy tests, blood tests, everything.. and he stayed sick.
Finally they put him on some steroids, and that seemed to help. The lesions went away for the most part, his skin wasn't so irritated, he could walk on his paws (which had gotten some of the wounds on them). It was a good fix, it seemed to help. But at the same time, a dog on steroids is a bit crazy. He bulked up. His tiny little frame suddenly had all of this extra weight on it. He really looked like... a fat dog with a little head. After a while Harley still wasn't doing awesome, the steroids helped, but he if he went off of them he'd get sick again. So we made the decision that he would go live with my sister in Missouri.
My sister has a dog named Lucifer ... I mean Lucy. Harley and Lucy got a long well, and hopefully his sickness would clear up in a new climate. So he went to Missouri in the fall, and got better! His lesions went away, he went off medication. Done deal. Awesome.
Carl and I got married in November. We were looking to get a dog, when my sister suggested I take Harley back now that I was more able to take care of him. So Harley traveled with my sister to Texas, and we traveled to Texas for a visit, and Harley flew home with us in January. January-April was good as gold. But then April hits (with A LOT of rain)... and Harley starts to get these nasty things on his skin again. Our playful dog started sleeping all day, starting doing nothing. If you asked him to bring you his toy, he would get it... drop it at your feet, and then go fall asleep on the couch (I think he thought we still wanted to play with his toys even when he was asleep). It was pitiful. So to the vet we went... told her the back story, etc, etc, etc. They thought it was an allergy brought on by the rain ... lots of rain = things blooming = harley gets sick. So they... put him on a dog allergy pill and steroids. And he got better... until it would rain.. and he'd get worse. Then he just started getting worse regardless of the rain. Then more steroids, and he got better. Then he got worse.
SO basically what I am saying is... our dog is high maintenance. No, really we just feel sad for him. Our sad little leprosy doggie. His sickness has gone on much longer here than it did in Texas, so we are trying to decide what is best for him. We are hoping that the fall hits, and he gets better! But if not we will be making some decisions as to what to do. We really don't want him to be miserable all the time. The best place he did was Missouri, for whatever reason. But even so he did better in Texas than in Cleveland at his point (although when he first lived here he never had an issue).
So if you come to our house, and look at our dog, and think we are neglecting him. Please don't. Please know he is still very spoiled... he is just kind of sick looking. Carl says I notice it more than others because I am around him more, possibly true. Hopefully the cooler weather, the leaves changing color, the smell of apple cider will bring more than my favorite season... maybe our little leprosy dog will get a break too!
(maybe we should start a foundation for little leprosy doggies?)
**Please don't be offended by my definition of my dogs disease. I realize it is not actually leprosy.**
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The Gift that keeps on giving...
I am really blessed with such an amazing husband.
Marriage is a funny thing, one day you go from this life of living alone, sleeping alone, doing your stuff alone. I mean, even with dating, the majority of your life you are handling on your own. Then you get married, and you go from alone to together. You wake up next to this person, you sleep next to this person, you shop for two, you cook for two, you clean for two. You think for two. Daily decisions don't just effect you, they affect both of you.
But it's more than that. It's this immense feeling of your other half. I miss him when I am at work, even though I just left him at home. Even when I want alone time, or to do my own thing, I want him close by. It's interesting, this paradox of wanting both and yet trying to fulfill it all. I don't know if I am making sense.
What I want to say is, I have an amazing husband. A husband who is consistantly there for me, consistantly doing things for me. He cooks, he cleans, he puts me first. He loves me enough to do my laundry. He loves me enough to put a crock pot meal in before he leaves to work the late shift. He does our bills, he fixes the hole in the wall, he paints the dining room, he sets up meetings with the carpet guy, he put the molding up in the kitchen. He is amazing. He gives and gives and gives. I am so blessed.
God has given me this extreme gift. A gift that keeps on giving. Tomorrow we will married for 5 months. That is an insane though. 5 months. Where have they gone? Didn't we just get married yesterday? I am thankful for these 5 months. Everyday isn't some perfect dream... but everyday I love him more. Everyday I learn more about him, I learn more from him and he pushes me to be a better person. He puts up with me when I am sick. He puts up with the fact that when I am not feeling good it isn't always something he can see. He can't see my migraine, and sometimes it would appear that it doesn't affect me, and other times it's completely opposite. But he deals with me. He is there for me even when he doesn't understand.
He puts up with me complaining about his work schedule, even though it's nothing he can control. He can't control that almost all winter he's been working the late shift (1-10pm).... and he works hard. He works hard for our family. To provide for me. To provide for us. Regardless of his shift. And truthfully he works a lot of extra shifts, overtime, whatever he needs to do. Even if it's just to have some extra money, or to get me a chance to visit my parents. My husband is an amazing hard working husband. He is a loving, giving man. Not just to me but to those around us. To his family. He would do whatever he could to help out a friend in need. He's done so much to help out, and see his mom since her accident. He is such a giving man. I cannot tell you how blessed I am.
I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I look forward to living, breathing, taking in this blessing for many, many, many years to come. I don't expect them to be perfect, but I do know that I will continue to love him, because God has given me an amazing gift.
Marriage is a funny thing, one day you go from this life of living alone, sleeping alone, doing your stuff alone. I mean, even with dating, the majority of your life you are handling on your own. Then you get married, and you go from alone to together. You wake up next to this person, you sleep next to this person, you shop for two, you cook for two, you clean for two. You think for two. Daily decisions don't just effect you, they affect both of you.
But it's more than that. It's this immense feeling of your other half. I miss him when I am at work, even though I just left him at home. Even when I want alone time, or to do my own thing, I want him close by. It's interesting, this paradox of wanting both and yet trying to fulfill it all. I don't know if I am making sense.
What I want to say is, I have an amazing husband. A husband who is consistantly there for me, consistantly doing things for me. He cooks, he cleans, he puts me first. He loves me enough to do my laundry. He loves me enough to put a crock pot meal in before he leaves to work the late shift. He does our bills, he fixes the hole in the wall, he paints the dining room, he sets up meetings with the carpet guy, he put the molding up in the kitchen. He is amazing. He gives and gives and gives. I am so blessed.
God has given me this extreme gift. A gift that keeps on giving. Tomorrow we will married for 5 months. That is an insane though. 5 months. Where have they gone? Didn't we just get married yesterday? I am thankful for these 5 months. Everyday isn't some perfect dream... but everyday I love him more. Everyday I learn more about him, I learn more from him and he pushes me to be a better person. He puts up with me when I am sick. He puts up with the fact that when I am not feeling good it isn't always something he can see. He can't see my migraine, and sometimes it would appear that it doesn't affect me, and other times it's completely opposite. But he deals with me. He is there for me even when he doesn't understand.
He puts up with me complaining about his work schedule, even though it's nothing he can control. He can't control that almost all winter he's been working the late shift (1-10pm).... and he works hard. He works hard for our family. To provide for me. To provide for us. Regardless of his shift. And truthfully he works a lot of extra shifts, overtime, whatever he needs to do. Even if it's just to have some extra money, or to get me a chance to visit my parents. My husband is an amazing hard working husband. He is a loving, giving man. Not just to me but to those around us. To his family. He would do whatever he could to help out a friend in need. He's done so much to help out, and see his mom since her accident. He is such a giving man. I cannot tell you how blessed I am.
I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I look forward to living, breathing, taking in this blessing for many, many, many years to come. I don't expect them to be perfect, but I do know that I will continue to love him, because God has given me an amazing gift.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Irrational Fears....
I think we all have irrational fears in life. The world is a scary place, and there are some things that are really really scary out there. But I am not talking about the actual scary things... I am talking about the irrational things we are scared of.
Irrational fear of ......flying because you might crash... yet your chances of being killed in a car accident are much higher.
Irrational fear of..... getting old.... because you know, who wants to get old?
Irrational fear of..... Porto potties.... because it's scary to think, who was in there before you... what are you sitting over? What if someone tips this thing? (seriously gross...)
Irrational fear of.... lakes or oceans.... Ok this might not be as irrational, I mean seriously how are you supposed to know what is swimming around you, what is your foot really touching, what just brushed up against your leg. AHHHHH I am getting nervous just thinking about it.
Irrational fear of... Clowns/ Dolls.... I know a lot of people with this fear. I personally don't have it. But some people are very very scared of clowns.
Irrational fear of....snakes coming up the toilet..... No joke, I saw a video once of a snake coming up the toilet pipe and into the bowl... it's scared me for life. Every time I sit down I have an tiny panic attack that something might come up while I am sitting there!
Ok Ok I am sure you get the point. I am sure you've thought of things that you are irrationally fearful of. It's funny the way our mind works, what is a big deal to one person is not to the next person. What scares me, my husband probably thinks is funny. It's very interesting.
Now I am going to tell you a secret... an irrational fear that I have. Seriously... I realize it's irrational I know this. I talk to myself about it all the time.
I have a irrational fear of having children..... because of all the "what ifs"....
I know I know it's crazy. First off... I am NOT pregnant. Trust me. I am not.
But I do think about the "someday" when Carl and I will hopefully have a child or children. It's scary to think you bring this life into the world, and suddenly it's all on you. You have this incredible impact on how they turn out. And I realize there are things out of your control. But still!! You have this impact, everyday!! everyday! And I think about my parents, who are amazing! Seriously amazing... then I start to think of all the what ifs...
What if I am not a good mom?
What if I think my baby is ugly?
What if my baby IS ugly?
Would anyone tell me if my baby was ugly?
What if my child has a learning disability?
What if my child has a developmental disability?
What if my baby is a genius?
What if my child is smarter than I am?
What if my teenager is a rebel?
What if my teenager does drugs?
What if my child gets in with the bad group?
What if my child is talented at something and it costs a lot of money to support?
If I work after I have kids will I be ruining their lives?
If I stay home after I have kids will I shelter them too much?
Will I be the protective momma bear or allusive mother?
What if my child grows up to hate me?
What if my child gets sick?
What if my child dies?
What if my child likes Carl more than me?
What if my teenager has sex?
What if my teenager gets pregnant?
What if my child becomes the President of the United States?
What if my child has differing beliefs than me?
What if my child doesn't believe in Jesus?
What if my child rejects God?
..... What if!!
And more so... I think about my niece and nephew who are seriously the cutest kids in the entire world. I have so much love for those two little babies I have no idea how to even describe it. Seriously, I had no idea how much love I would feel for them, and now they are here on Earth and my heart bursts with joy and love. When they reach milestones I feel like I am their mom I am so proud of them. What if I don't love my kids that much? What if my kids aren't as smart or cute as their cousins? What if I don't feel the same heart bursting at the seems love for them?
Let me put a cautionary thing here: Please don't judge me about this irrational fear I have. I have an amazing Heavenly Father who I know is watching out for Carl and I. I know he plans our steps, and I know whatever child/children we have we will be able to handle. But I still think these things, I still worry. Because I am human, and I cannot change that. But I put my faith in God that when the time is right for us to have a child/ or children it will turn out the way it is supposed to... and we will lean on God for guidance on how to parent our children. '
I know a lot of the fears I wrote down sound stupid and crazy.And a lot of them are vain, about the looks of my child. But it's like I am already protective of the children I don't have. I don't want to bring a child into this world and then watch them get hurt. Watch them struggle. Watch them be different. But it is things I think about it. And you know what? I cannot change any of them. My irrational fear is over the uncontroable. If my child ends up being any of those things I listed I know that God will give me the strength to be the mother I need to be in any of those situations. What ever life gives us I will lean on God.
What I am trying to say in this post is that... just through the thought of having a child I think these things and it's like I start to become overly protective of a child that I don't even have yet. I don't want them to see the bad in this world. I don't want them to experience the bad in this world. But thinking about this also makes me think of all the parents I know out in the how maybe you've had these fears at some point in life, and you have or are raising beautiful loving children. Regardless of their situation, controllable or not, you have these amazing children. I am thankful for the great examples in parenting that Carl and I have in our lives. I pray we live up to these examples. But I can't help but worry sometimes. My irrational fear may not be something anyone else thinks about, and it's not something I let keep me up all night. But it is something I think about, and it is something that I pray about. Not that my child wouldn't face any adversity, but that I would be the parent I need to be in any situation.
I hope this post didn't offend anyone. I just wanted to get it out... I'd love to hear your opinon on this, unless it's rude, than please keep it to yourself.
Irrational fear of ......flying because you might crash... yet your chances of being killed in a car accident are much higher.
Irrational fear of..... getting old.... because you know, who wants to get old?
Irrational fear of..... Porto potties.... because it's scary to think, who was in there before you... what are you sitting over? What if someone tips this thing? (seriously gross...)
Irrational fear of.... lakes or oceans.... Ok this might not be as irrational, I mean seriously how are you supposed to know what is swimming around you, what is your foot really touching, what just brushed up against your leg. AHHHHH I am getting nervous just thinking about it.
Irrational fear of... Clowns/ Dolls.... I know a lot of people with this fear. I personally don't have it. But some people are very very scared of clowns.
Irrational fear of....snakes coming up the toilet..... No joke, I saw a video once of a snake coming up the toilet pipe and into the bowl... it's scared me for life. Every time I sit down I have an tiny panic attack that something might come up while I am sitting there!
Ok Ok I am sure you get the point. I am sure you've thought of things that you are irrationally fearful of. It's funny the way our mind works, what is a big deal to one person is not to the next person. What scares me, my husband probably thinks is funny. It's very interesting.
Now I am going to tell you a secret... an irrational fear that I have. Seriously... I realize it's irrational I know this. I talk to myself about it all the time.
I have a irrational fear of having children..... because of all the "what ifs"....
I know I know it's crazy. First off... I am NOT pregnant. Trust me. I am not.
But I do think about the "someday" when Carl and I will hopefully have a child or children. It's scary to think you bring this life into the world, and suddenly it's all on you. You have this incredible impact on how they turn out. And I realize there are things out of your control. But still!! You have this impact, everyday!! everyday! And I think about my parents, who are amazing! Seriously amazing... then I start to think of all the what ifs...
What if I am not a good mom?
What if I think my baby is ugly?
What if my baby IS ugly?
Would anyone tell me if my baby was ugly?
What if my child has a learning disability?
What if my child has a developmental disability?
What if my baby is a genius?
What if my child is smarter than I am?
What if my teenager is a rebel?
What if my teenager does drugs?
What if my child gets in with the bad group?
What if my child is talented at something and it costs a lot of money to support?
If I work after I have kids will I be ruining their lives?
If I stay home after I have kids will I shelter them too much?
Will I be the protective momma bear or allusive mother?
What if my child grows up to hate me?
What if my child gets sick?
What if my child dies?
What if my child likes Carl more than me?
What if my teenager has sex?
What if my teenager gets pregnant?
What if my child becomes the President of the United States?
What if my child has differing beliefs than me?
What if my child doesn't believe in Jesus?
What if my child rejects God?
..... What if!!
And more so... I think about my niece and nephew who are seriously the cutest kids in the entire world. I have so much love for those two little babies I have no idea how to even describe it. Seriously, I had no idea how much love I would feel for them, and now they are here on Earth and my heart bursts with joy and love. When they reach milestones I feel like I am their mom I am so proud of them. What if I don't love my kids that much? What if my kids aren't as smart or cute as their cousins? What if I don't feel the same heart bursting at the seems love for them?
Let me put a cautionary thing here: Please don't judge me about this irrational fear I have. I have an amazing Heavenly Father who I know is watching out for Carl and I. I know he plans our steps, and I know whatever child/children we have we will be able to handle. But I still think these things, I still worry. Because I am human, and I cannot change that. But I put my faith in God that when the time is right for us to have a child/ or children it will turn out the way it is supposed to... and we will lean on God for guidance on how to parent our children. '
I know a lot of the fears I wrote down sound stupid and crazy.And a lot of them are vain, about the looks of my child. But it's like I am already protective of the children I don't have. I don't want to bring a child into this world and then watch them get hurt. Watch them struggle. Watch them be different. But it is things I think about it. And you know what? I cannot change any of them. My irrational fear is over the uncontroable. If my child ends up being any of those things I listed I know that God will give me the strength to be the mother I need to be in any of those situations. What ever life gives us I will lean on God.
What I am trying to say in this post is that... just through the thought of having a child I think these things and it's like I start to become overly protective of a child that I don't even have yet. I don't want them to see the bad in this world. I don't want them to experience the bad in this world. But thinking about this also makes me think of all the parents I know out in the how maybe you've had these fears at some point in life, and you have or are raising beautiful loving children. Regardless of their situation, controllable or not, you have these amazing children. I am thankful for the great examples in parenting that Carl and I have in our lives. I pray we live up to these examples. But I can't help but worry sometimes. My irrational fear may not be something anyone else thinks about, and it's not something I let keep me up all night. But it is something I think about, and it is something that I pray about. Not that my child wouldn't face any adversity, but that I would be the parent I need to be in any situation.
I hope this post didn't offend anyone. I just wanted to get it out... I'd love to hear your opinon on this, unless it's rude, than please keep it to yourself.
Monday, March 21, 2011
85 or 24?
My body thinks it's 85. No really... it does. It's humorous...sometimes. I have seen more doctors than I care to admit. I am on a first name basis with my primary care doctor, her nurses, the lab techs at her office, and even most of the secretaries. No I am not kidding. I have to admit, although I enjoy my friendships with them, I'd give it up for some good healthy days.
Mostly I go for my migraines, trying to find new preventative measures, better things to get rid of the pain, etc. But for the past couple of months I've been going for this pain that I have had in my right hip for over a year. A lot of people, doctors etc. kept telling me that it was in my lower back and not my hip. I have seen 3 doctors and 1 physical therapist (who quit on me and told me she thought I might need surgery) and did not notice a change in my pain, regardless of the stretches, exercises or medication they gave me.
It is terrible pain when I lay down, so bad i can't usually move my right leg. It's excruciating to get up from a laying position. Sitting for long periods can aggravate it, sitting on the floor always makes it worse. It's so frustrating to be in this much pain, all the time and have no one have answers for you. I mean I cannot be the first person in the world to experience this pain, and these doctors see people all the time. I even saw a hip specialist! She thought it was soft tissue damage, put some pain patches on it and it will get better.
So today I started with a new physical therapist in compliance with what the hip dr. wanted. She wanted me to strengthen the muscles and the soft tissue would get better too (or something like that.) I met my new physical therapist, and her student teacher this morning, and seriously these two people quickly became my favoriate people in the world.
I met with them for maybe 10 minutes and they figured out my problem!! It will take a few weeks to get to a point without so much pain, but they figured out my problem!!! Some how throughout all the doctors I saw, and the physical therapist, no one had checked to make sure my hips are aligned.
When your hips are aligned they can push on your hip/ pelvic bones on your back and your hands will be straight across and equal... pretty simple. Well guess what, my hips are not aligned... when they did that test, their left hand was at one place, and their right was further down. Quite a bit futher down. As they continued to do their test they found that I have.. Posterior Pelvic Tilt... on the right side hip/pelivic bone it tilts down in the back, up in the front. This is causing a pinching of nerves, among other issues. It is also making my right leg shorter than my left...! What!!
(picture credit http://www.pt.ntu.edu.tw/hmchai/kinesiology/KINtrunk/Pelvis.files/PelvicMotionLateralView.png)
I am the one on the right. The anterior tilt is much more common than the posterior (but why would I be common...???) And obviously the middle one is normal, which we know I am not.
I thought for sure that putting it back in place would be a couple of weeks, I was even doubtful it was something they could do in the office.... I was wrong. They put it back in place today, in the office. Man it hurt, it was not fun at all.
Now I have a couple weeks or more of working my self up so the muscles around there tighten up into the direction they are supposed to be and hold it at the right tilt. There is a possibility it will go back to the posterior tilt one more time or more because it's a year that it's been stuck like that. So it will take some time to retrain it. I am not looking forward to putting it back in to place again, therefore I am trying to be very careful, follow their restrictions very closely and do the therapy exercises they gave me.
Again.. I am 24... what in the world. I will admit though, there is nothing better than finally having an answer to somethng that is wrong. It's nice to not feel crazy. It's nice to understand that you aren't crazy. It's nice to realize what you are going through isn't normal. Now I just get to deal with my 84 year old body. So heres to sticking to my restrictions and keeping that hip where it belongs!! Yay for good recovery and change. Now if they could just figure out my thyroid, my migraines.... etc etc etc. :) But for now... I'll keep pushing on. Thanks for reading, my boring tale of my issues, but seriously I am so excited to have some answers.
Oh and since this blog is about being a newlywed and married life... umm Honey, they told me that they'd prefere I didn't walk up and down the stairs for a while.... can you continue to do the laundry... Thanks! (Sadly this won't be a change since you've been doing it lately. Bad wife) Haha but really, my husband is amazing and supportive. I know he looks forward to me feeling better, and probably looks forward to not waking up to an old lady who has a hard time getting out of bed. But I appreciate his support. I also think he enjoys telling me my hips don't lie... ha.
Mostly I go for my migraines, trying to find new preventative measures, better things to get rid of the pain, etc. But for the past couple of months I've been going for this pain that I have had in my right hip for over a year. A lot of people, doctors etc. kept telling me that it was in my lower back and not my hip. I have seen 3 doctors and 1 physical therapist (who quit on me and told me she thought I might need surgery) and did not notice a change in my pain, regardless of the stretches, exercises or medication they gave me.
It is terrible pain when I lay down, so bad i can't usually move my right leg. It's excruciating to get up from a laying position. Sitting for long periods can aggravate it, sitting on the floor always makes it worse. It's so frustrating to be in this much pain, all the time and have no one have answers for you. I mean I cannot be the first person in the world to experience this pain, and these doctors see people all the time. I even saw a hip specialist! She thought it was soft tissue damage, put some pain patches on it and it will get better.
So today I started with a new physical therapist in compliance with what the hip dr. wanted. She wanted me to strengthen the muscles and the soft tissue would get better too (or something like that.) I met my new physical therapist, and her student teacher this morning, and seriously these two people quickly became my favoriate people in the world.
I met with them for maybe 10 minutes and they figured out my problem!! It will take a few weeks to get to a point without so much pain, but they figured out my problem!!! Some how throughout all the doctors I saw, and the physical therapist, no one had checked to make sure my hips are aligned.
When your hips are aligned they can push on your hip/ pelvic bones on your back and your hands will be straight across and equal... pretty simple. Well guess what, my hips are not aligned... when they did that test, their left hand was at one place, and their right was further down. Quite a bit futher down. As they continued to do their test they found that I have.. Posterior Pelvic Tilt... on the right side hip/pelivic bone it tilts down in the back, up in the front. This is causing a pinching of nerves, among other issues. It is also making my right leg shorter than my left...! What!!
(picture credit http://www.pt.ntu.edu.tw/hmchai/kinesiology/KINtrunk/Pelvis.files/PelvicMotionLateralView.png)
I am the one on the right. The anterior tilt is much more common than the posterior (but why would I be common...???) And obviously the middle one is normal, which we know I am not.
I thought for sure that putting it back in place would be a couple of weeks, I was even doubtful it was something they could do in the office.... I was wrong. They put it back in place today, in the office. Man it hurt, it was not fun at all.
Now I have a couple weeks or more of working my self up so the muscles around there tighten up into the direction they are supposed to be and hold it at the right tilt. There is a possibility it will go back to the posterior tilt one more time or more because it's a year that it's been stuck like that. So it will take some time to retrain it. I am not looking forward to putting it back in to place again, therefore I am trying to be very careful, follow their restrictions very closely and do the therapy exercises they gave me.
Again.. I am 24... what in the world. I will admit though, there is nothing better than finally having an answer to somethng that is wrong. It's nice to not feel crazy. It's nice to understand that you aren't crazy. It's nice to realize what you are going through isn't normal. Now I just get to deal with my 84 year old body. So heres to sticking to my restrictions and keeping that hip where it belongs!! Yay for good recovery and change. Now if they could just figure out my thyroid, my migraines.... etc etc etc. :) But for now... I'll keep pushing on. Thanks for reading, my boring tale of my issues, but seriously I am so excited to have some answers.
Oh and since this blog is about being a newlywed and married life... umm Honey, they told me that they'd prefere I didn't walk up and down the stairs for a while.... can you continue to do the laundry... Thanks! (Sadly this won't be a change since you've been doing it lately. Bad wife) Haha but really, my husband is amazing and supportive. I know he looks forward to me feeling better, and probably looks forward to not waking up to an old lady who has a hard time getting out of bed. But I appreciate his support. I also think he enjoys telling me my hips don't lie... ha.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Slowly, Slowly, It all comes together
Slowly Slowly our home is coming together. Today I have the promised pictures!
Our project from today! I love love love it!
Living room looking in from the front door. In those in lays, we are planning on putting in some built in book shelves. It's in the plans.
Living room from the dining room/office.
Dining room from living room, kitchen in the background. That black table and chair is not staying, just needs to be brought into the basement.
Another angle of our new picture wall.
The other side of the dining room/office.
Kitchen view from dining room.
Our chalkboard doors in the kitchen. We love them. There is still artwork from the fall up there, we need Beth to come over and draw something new. This will be awesome when we have kids someday. The kids can draw on the chalkboard while I cook dinner.
Kitchen table and backdoor.
Looking the other way through the kitchen.
Again that black table needs to go.
Our guest room! Need to move the sewing machine downstairs too.
Our bedroom. Still needs work, but you know, small steps. Slowly slowly it all comes together.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Colorful...Turning a House into a Home.
There used to be a show on when my brothers were little....littler, around when they were 2 or 3 called Rollie Pollie Ollie. I don't know if this show is still on but I remember watching it and thinking what a cool house they lived in, it was so colorful! So... realistically, it was not a pretty house, it was out of control. Too many colors, too many patterns, too much in general.
BUT, I have always liked color, pattern, uniqueness. Luckily I've married a man who trusts me with decorating decisions. When I told him I wanted to paint the front room yellow he did even blink. When we started painting the front room yellow and it looked like a lime yellowish green... he still trusted my opinion. When the paint dried and looked like a rich sunflower, I think he was relieved (that it didn't stay that other awful color). I painted the kitchen a ... 1950's Chevy Blue. It's great. I love it. Carl didn't complain about the color, even though I didn't ask his opinion and painted that room while he was gone hiking the Grand Canyon.
Slowly our house is coming together. Slowly things are fitting in their place. Slowly things are taking on their style. Slowly I am falling in love with it all. We accented the front yellow room with red and brown. I love it. The kitchen is bright fresh colors, blue, and white. With a nice black fridge. I love it.
The problem is in between these rooms is our... dinning room/office/walk through room. You can see this room fully from the kitchen, and the living room. You have to walk through it to get to either. It's very visible. So the problem was coming up with the color for this room. I was very anxious to paint it, to choose the color, to get started on decorating, putting things on the walls. Making it more homey. But I couldn't quite decide.
Finally, finally I chose. I chose brown. It goes well with the yellow, and the blue. It ties the room all together. It ties all three rooms together nicely. We've painted one wall a solid dark brown. The other three walls have dark brown on the bottom with light brown on top, we will put a chair rail in the center. I love it.
I love that I have a husband who spent his whole day before work today painting the dinning room. Moving his desk around. Moving things around. He finished painting that whole room for me. What a great man. What a great man who helps me put my ideas into place. What a great man who helps me make our house into our home. I know it's a lot of change for him. But I love our home. I love what it's turning into.
And someday... I'll upload pictures. Someday.
P.S. I do realize that the rollie pollie ollie thing is ridiculous. :) Don't worry.
BUT, I have always liked color, pattern, uniqueness. Luckily I've married a man who trusts me with decorating decisions. When I told him I wanted to paint the front room yellow he did even blink. When we started painting the front room yellow and it looked like a lime yellowish green... he still trusted my opinion. When the paint dried and looked like a rich sunflower, I think he was relieved (that it didn't stay that other awful color). I painted the kitchen a ... 1950's Chevy Blue. It's great. I love it. Carl didn't complain about the color, even though I didn't ask his opinion and painted that room while he was gone hiking the Grand Canyon.
Slowly our house is coming together. Slowly things are fitting in their place. Slowly things are taking on their style. Slowly I am falling in love with it all. We accented the front yellow room with red and brown. I love it. The kitchen is bright fresh colors, blue, and white. With a nice black fridge. I love it.
The problem is in between these rooms is our... dinning room/office/walk through room. You can see this room fully from the kitchen, and the living room. You have to walk through it to get to either. It's very visible. So the problem was coming up with the color for this room. I was very anxious to paint it, to choose the color, to get started on decorating, putting things on the walls. Making it more homey. But I couldn't quite decide.
Finally, finally I chose. I chose brown. It goes well with the yellow, and the blue. It ties the room all together. It ties all three rooms together nicely. We've painted one wall a solid dark brown. The other three walls have dark brown on the bottom with light brown on top, we will put a chair rail in the center. I love it.
I love that I have a husband who spent his whole day before work today painting the dinning room. Moving his desk around. Moving things around. He finished painting that whole room for me. What a great man. What a great man who helps me put my ideas into place. What a great man who helps me make our house into our home. I know it's a lot of change for him. But I love our home. I love what it's turning into.
And someday... I'll upload pictures. Someday.
P.S. I do realize that the rollie pollie ollie thing is ridiculous. :) Don't worry.
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